My thoughts…..

so much for a new beginning... hehehehehe it didnt last.... i still hv mood swings.... why why why.. i get it now it was never meant for me... so i want to move on but why it doesnt want me to? i hate break ups...!!!!!! i hv so much to do... life is just not about heart break... there is more... work work work i hv so much to do n everday it adds on.. when i am going to finish if i keep on hving mood swings,.. i get up trying to control any mood swings... then rush for school in school try to be as busy as possbile so i dont think much... on the way back is where it all starts.. i start thinking.. flash backs.... n by the time i am back.. it starts... i get tired with myself... and off to sleep to control the swings... get up bath n then facebook... where i try to...... i dont know wht.... then i start chatting.... then i get sleepy work will not be done... n the circle starts again the next day.... this is not me... i need to do something... i need to be focus n get wor...

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu today's fourtune  cookie on FB.. true... to start a change one has to take the beginning step n never turn back.... cause if one turns back.. then the journey will never complete... so this was wht in my mind this morning.... it has been 5 months....since "the incident: and i still hvnt recover.... it tiring... its painful... it just is.... but how long will i be like this? i am tired of myself.... it is not that i dont want to change but i just dont hv the energy to fight my stubborn self.... i hv become to sensitive nowadays... that even if a person i dont really know behaviours to my dislike... i tend to get emotional... stupid right...? i keep on saying to myself... i am the boss of my feelings.. so i decide how i feel.... so i should be bothered about others... i just need to do wht is right,,, arghhhhh ok keeping this rubbish aside.... now i want to start my new journey (alone as usual) ...